I normally put my articles on a different page, but I wanted to ensure that everyone took at glance at this one. I recently saw a video presentation called, “The Five Steps to Misery”, and after I laughed my head off, I decided to take their outline and write some of my thoughts on the subject.
One of the major reasons I chose to be an instructor over being a pastor was the very nature of the positions. I have high regard and esteem for the men and women serving in the role of pastor. They have a tough job, for reasons too numerous to list here. However, one such reason is that these are people that truly care for the welfare of others, a position I find tough to follow.
You may find that remark cold and insensitive, but I am a firm believer that harsh truth is better than a warm and loving lie. A pastor faces the challenge of loving his/her congregation and I believe that those feelings can impair their ability to say what needs to be said. A ministry instructor/professor deals with the facts, as he/she should.
These observations are made with this article in mind.
Being miserable is hard work, especially for those of the faith. Think of it like this: life after death, reason for living, sense of purpose, like-minded communities, in-depth training and something to do every Sunday morning for life, you would think that Christians would be the least miserable people on the planet.
However, not so. When we have taken to the time to ask people from outside our happy confines what they think of us, we fall into the categories of ignorant, judgmental, hypocritical, narrow-minded and self-serving. Oddly enough, when the same people are asked about Jesus, he is presented as a great teacher, inspirational leader, social activist and a person that died unjustly at the hands of the ruling Romans. What a different 2,000 years make.
Many of the leaders and elders I talk with say the misery we possess is caused by the hatred of this world towards our faith and practice. They tell me that because of this, we have pulled back in the marketplace and that Christian views are diminished and of little value. They say that within the next generation, evil will flourish. This, I am told, is done to fulfill the prophecy of Jesus. The end of the age is coming, so get on your knees.
I guess this all makes sense in sort of an odd and unexplainable way. What I fail to see is the connection between end times and miserable people. More to the point, I fail to see what possible difference it makes concerning being miserable.
People who practice being miserable, do not need a reason for being miserable. It is what they do, all the time and everywhere. They are the same people that when confronted with death, start rambling on about how they would have lived different, how nice they would have been to Aunt Edna, they would have invested more in their kids, they would have saved kittens from the proverbial glue factory, they would have moved to Haifa and been nice to the Jews.
The truth is, they have been practicing being miserable for so long, they forgot two things: that the are alive and that they will die! Mortality has an alarming way about it. It shakes us all violently from our sleepy lives and reminds us this life is not forever. But why be miserable? So what, you were worthless while you were here and your life work and portfolio would fit on the back of a business card. We will have to send out announcements about your death because no one would notice you are missing without proper notification. You become one less number to avoid on the caller ID. What do you care, you are passing on to the great by-n-by, free from pain, free from debt and most importantly, free from us. Why the long face?
You know why. We all know why. This life is not a test for the next life. We are alive now and should be fully engaged in the work at hand. The Bible is filled with many things, but excuses are not among them. We can keep writing off this life as long as we want, but deep in our spirits, we know God has placed us here for a greatness, for His purpose, to carry out His desire for us here in earth. In the course of this, we become a blessing and support for others.
People live miserable lives because they are waiting for God to give their life meaning. I say our lives should give God meaning! Why should anyone join our ranks when they see our faith in God doing nothing to combat social injustice, to reach out the needy and poor, to strive for a better and cleaner society, and to be people of love and kindness instead of division and strife? We are constantly trying to prove that God exists instead of living to prove He exists not in the cosmos, but in the very heart of His creation.
People live miserable lives because they cling to a sense of entitlement. They have been so wronged, even though they feel they make the right decisions. This is just bad logic. It is like being mad at a charging bull because he does not know you are a vegetarian. Why is he attacking me? I do not eat red meat. He does not care.
All these bad things and events are holding them down from being all God had intended. For every bellyaching person you can dig up with a sad past, who feels if only the beginning had not been so rough, they could achieve high goals for God, for every one of them, you can find a hundred that have fought their way through these challenges and made significant impact in the Kingdom. This kind of “entitlement thinking” lends itself to the idea that God just rescues us from our “crashes” and stores us in His “junkyard”. Like a Christian “pick-your-part”. However, the Bible speaks of complete healing and complete restoration. Broken, blessed, and to be used.
People live miserable lives because it is all personal. It is all about them and their self-serving ways. They live lives of total frustration because the world that owes them a living refuses to pay them back. They live the motto of “What’s in it for me?” They boast of a personal relationship with Jesus with no evident personal change. The weight of glory is outweighing the weight of their reality.
While one must admit, it is very difficult to take our eyes off of ourselves and focus on Jesus. To focus in the lives of others, it is more difficult to assume that what we are doing is working. True fulfillment, true happiness, are not things we will find in someone else, another failed relationship, another high, another toy, another vacation, but what we find inside ourselves when we stop pouting about how hard it is and start working at becoming a student of God and a follower of Jesus.
People are miserable by choice. They make miserable decisions, marry miserable people, raise miserable kids, and live never-ending lives of misery. Jesus promises a life of abundance. He offers a life of hardship with a purpose, the final fulfillment in our making our way from this life to the next. I fear for people who go to heaven, where all is as it should be. It reminds me of a story.
A very famous and successful bank robber dies after a long and vibrant career. Much to his surprise, he awakens in a place of beauty, with angels, clouds, and running streams. An angel approached him and says, “What would you like to do?” The robber says, “I would like to rob a bank”. The angle creates a street, with cars and buildings, and at the end of the street sits a bank. “How much money do you want in the vault?’ the angel asks. The robber says, “How about two-million dollars?” Not a problem, two million dollars is placed in the vault.
The robber tells the angel he needs to go plan his robbery. The angel asks him why. Everything is in place, you walk in at 2pm, no guards, no chance to get caught, take your money and go. The robber is perplexed. “No”, he says, “I need to plan this out.” The angel alerts him that it does not work that way. The robber cries, “What kind of heaven is this?” The angel replies, “Who said you were in heaven?”
People are miserable because they want easy street and they got it. They want the rewards of a life not measured and not examined. They want their questions and answers on the same plate. They pine for social attention and live for validation. Nothing is more frightening than a moment or period of isolation. Very few have ever said a prayer that was not about them. They dial up God and place the order.
Here are a quick couple of places for improvement:
1) Stop feeling sorry for yourself and commit to the hard work it takes to follow God, working out your salvation with “fear and trembling”. No one is going to come fix you or your problem. You must work side by side with the Creator and do the spiritual work it takes.
2) Invest in an authentic and accountable relationship with another person (preferably of the same gender). Without the love, compassion and understanding of my friend, Gerry Gauthier, I would be another party-pooper in the Kingdom. If misery enjoys company, Gerry is the antidote.
3) Be yourself always. Stop kidding yourself into thinking that spiritual giants get that way by copying the lives of others. God made you just the way you are, flaws and all.
If you are feeling sad about my article, you can e-mail Gerry at ggauthier@checkpointminstry.com
He will give you all the love you missed at childhood.